“I hate kids. And I’m not talking the type I hate that goes away after a series of zany misadventures where we grow to love each other. I’m talking about a blistering hate for them and their creepy tiny little features.”—Max, Happy Endings
“He looked like the kind of gay who would have no issue breaking your nose if you called him queer, especially since his hair was slicked back and he was on a fucking motorcycle.”—Babe Walker, White Girl Problems.
“He’s not an actor. He’s a pair of abs attached to an inbred two by four. There are park statues with more range than Taylor Lautner. The kid is about as versatile as a blood clot and as charming as a yeast infection.”—Dustin Rowles of Pajiba.com